Pony Swagger
by Zaresto
Summary: When a troubled criminal is involved in a fatal accident, will his adventure in Equestria allow him to redeem himself for what had done in his life before? Rated Mature for large amounts of adult language in the early chapters. HiE fic.
1. Requiem

My Glock 17 clicked loudly, it's clip was empty, and it was pointing at a man, shot dead by three of it's 9x19mm Parabellum rounds. To my right, a woman was laying on the ground, dead, shot in the head. Walking into the kitchen, near where I came in, two men were laying on the ground like rag-dolls in a shallow pool of warm crimson blood, each of them received two rounds straight in the torso.

Fifteen minutes earlier . . .

It seemed as though it was just another lazy Thursday morning. The sun was rising, the sky was blue, and I had to go to the place where everyone wanted to make me the most miserable mo-fo in all of the city. Is that how they got their sick kicks? By using a brutal one-two punch of both fisticuffs and words? No, today would be different, today would be a day of redemption. Today would be the day when no one would bother me because I was different in only one little way. That was why today, I made sure that my 'protector' was with me. It was quite a sight, walking into that dull-as-Keanu Reeves fast-food restaurant. For the most part, I kept my heater in my coat pocket, but his time to shine would soon come.

Walking through the streets, I make my way into my place of business. Today, instead of entering through the front, like the white fat asses, I enter through the back.

"Hey, wigger, you're fucking late, AGAIN!" a man in the kitchen growled at me. He walks up to me and whacks me in the head, as all the other employees laugh and point at me.

"Man, the boss should have seen that!" the woman at the register said, in a devilish cackle.

"Say, where's the boss-man again?" I asked, trying to keep my cool but secretly wanting to kill them where they stand. They would get theirs soon enough, if they kept acting like this.

"That sun-baked asshole got constipation or somethin, and you're gonna clean that toilet, ya damn Slav" the woman said with another evil laugh. I felt as though I should have took out my heater and gave that bitch what she deserved. I stopped myself before I pulled out the weapon. She would die soon.

"YOU! WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL ALL MY HOPES? ALL MY DREAMS? YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES, OKAY?" I shouted in a fit of rage, I was about to kill them all, but, suddenly, they stopped laughing, and a silence filled the workplace. That silence was broken by the boss, who sauntered into the area acting like he was king of England.

"Awwwww, is the dumb Polack gonna cry?" he said in an insulting manner. That was the breaking point. With extreme rage, I took out my pistol and I began to pop caps in each and every one of their asses, saving my three last bullets for the boss-man.

"HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW, YA DIRTY HO!" I yelled in rage as I deposited the rest of my clip into his puny body.

My Glock 17 clicked loudly, it's clip was empty, and it was pointing at a man, shot dead by three of it's 9x19mm Parabellum rounds. To my right, a woman was laying on the ground, shot in the head. Walking into the kitchen, near where I came in, two men were laying on the ground like rag-dolls in a shallow pool of warm crimson blood, each of them received two rounds straight in the torso.

"Damn Fuzz gonna get my ass now, man!" I whispered softly to myself. A getaway vehicle, that's what I needed. Luckily, that fucktard of a boss had the keys to one ugly ass Dodge Charger, which would allow me to get away safely, at least, in theory. Walking over to that damn fruit, I took his keys and skedaddled over to his car. Opening it up, I gently placed the key into the ignition, and proceeded to get the hell out of dodge. I could be going to damn bu-fu Egypt for all I care, I just needed to lose those butthurt coppers.

On the highway, twenty five minutes later . . .

"Bitch-ass-cum-crap-grandma-crack-cocaine-snoop dogg-weed-eminem-baby daddy-nuke-wale-gay bar-lesbo-radical-cum-minecraft!" I cursed as I began to hear a plethora of sirens behind me. I was almost at the Jersey Turnpike, and they were about to stop my one chance at freedom. The popo were descending on my ass, and I had best lose them or risk becoming a mindless jailbird. "Man, I'm assed out, they gonna get me, gotta bail, gotta bail!" I yelled, flooring the car. About twenty of them and a chopper were now on my ass, and they probably had backup or some shit like that, better plan my moves carefu-

*POP*

"Shit, got a flat rubber, this ain't good dawg, this ain't good!" I said as I heard a sickening popping sound over to my right. I began to lose control, accidentally steering the car into the other side of the parkway in my effort to keep straight. Over in front of me, a semi was gaining ground, about to crash. He tried to steer that bitch, and so did I, but it was too late. It seemed as though time slowed as I heard a deafening crunching noise followed by a large piece of metal being propelled straight towards me. It pierced my torso, but it seemed as though I was still conscious, but I knew I was fading out quickly as I saw a black ring encasing my field of vision. Next thing I knew, I was falling . . . and falling . . . and falling. It seemed as though I was falling endlessly, but I stopped trying to feel my surroundings and in some fucking way, I stopped falling. There was no hard impact, and it felt as though I hit a very soft dumpster, but I couldn't see what was going, like I was sleeping or something.

After a good deal of time, maybe five minutes or so, my eyes had started to open up, and I saw that I was in a… room, with only only one wooden door, dark, with a gilded doorknob. I heard some kind of soft cosmic echo. I felt weightless yet still in my body, I could feel the ground. I looked down at myself, to see if I had sustained any damage. What I saw shocked me. Instead of a body . . . I was some kinda of dark shiny Jello-like creature with a star pattern.

"HOLY SHIT, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? WHAT IN GODS NAME? NOOOOOOOO! MOTHER FUCKER! AAAHHHHHHH! HOLY CRAP, SHITFUCKASS!" I screamed, letting out my ganger rage.

"Stranger, art thou done with thy rant?" a female voice asked, obviously irritated with my profane outburst. The voice sounded very familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on it, or, should I say, 'put my gelatinous body on it'.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I?" I yelled out to whoever was there. The voice didn't seem to concentrate from a specific area, but then again, neither did mine.

"Well, thy question will be rather difficult to answer in the current situation." the voice retorted wittingly.

"NO, BITCH, JUSS GIMME MY ANSWERS!" I yelled, trying to regain my 'composure'.

"Calm yourself, that is no way to speak to royalty!" she commanded in a very loud ground shaking voice.

"WHAT GOD DAMN ROYALTY? JUST GIVE ME MY FUCKING ANSWERS!" I said, now even louder than before.

"Well, this shalt come as a surprise to thee, but I am Princess Luna, co-ruler of the land of Equestria"

"You mean like in those My Little Pony cartoons?" I replied.

"I am confused by thy wording, I must ask you to go through the door, so I may explain things better to you" she said with a puzzled voice.

"BUT HOW THE HELL DO I DO THAT? I GOT NO ARMS OR LEGS?" I yelled, raising my voice once more.

"Thou must only concentrate, and then thou can move, rather simple, is it not?" the princess said in a kind voice. Taking her advice, since it was my one and only shot at getting out of this place, I concentrated as hard as I could on my movement. I began to strain as though I was constipated or something. Reaching the door, I was about to ask Luna how I was supposed to open it, but before I could speak, the wooded door began to open, sucking me into it's magical abyss of wonders unknown.

It felt as though I was speeding down the highway on a motorcycle. After a few seconds, I could see what I could determine as my destination, a large bedroom decorated with purple and other dark colors. My figure began to change. Instead of being an indistinguishable blob, I began to grow legs, and a head, and hair, and a torso, and genitalia . . . except I wasn't human, not by a long shot. Entering my destination, I could see more clearly what was around me. Except, I was to preoccupied with looking down at myself than looking around at the room.

"HOLY SHITTING DICK NIPPLES I'M A-" I was cut off by Luna smothering my mouth with one of her soft purple pillows.

"Keep quiet, Tia isn't supposed to know you're here. There would be hell to pay if she found out that I turned one of heaven's pariahs into a citizen in her land" she whispered, in a much more natural voice than before.

"Mmmmmf, mmf, frummmph" I said, not being able to speak properly due to the pillow over my mouth.

"Fine, just don't yell when I take off the pillow" she said softly, pulling the pillow off of my lips. As I caught my breath, she began to explain what the heck was happening. "Let me explain to you everything that I can. Due to the fact that you died, you would have been normally been sent to 'another place'. Luckily for you, I intervened in the process a bit. So now, you're gonna have to live in Equestria for a bit before I can send you over to heaven. But there is a catch . . . you're gonna have to give me reports on . . . uh . . . resentment and why it's bad for both of our races or something like that. As you might have noticed, you have retained the body of a unicorn, which'll help you out a bit, since you can levitate and use objects with ease. Of course you'll need some way to get used to your new body, so I'm going to send you over to-"

Luna was cut off by a knock at her door, it seemed as though one of the royal guards was sent to call her down to somewhere else in the castle.

"Princess Luna, your sister requires you in the main hall!" said a deep gruff voice outside the chamber.

"Curses, it seems our meeting will be cut short. Here's a piece of levitating parchment to reminding you about who you are and the current time. Remember to send me notes about your findings. I've arranged for my good friend, Twilight Sparkle, to make sure you fit into the life here" she whispered quickly. Before I could object, she gave me the apparently 'magical' piece of paper and covered me with a dark violet mist. Spinning around, as though I was in some sort of amusement park ride, the scenery slowly began to change. Instead of a bedchamber decorated with dark purples and violets, the setting slowly changed into a mid-afternoon outside a large 'tree house'.

"Look Spike, I think it's him!" I heard a distinctive and familiar voice say "Spike, finish cleaning up, I have to go greet this new gentlecolt!" I looked through the piece of paper, getting to know my new name.

"North Star . . . North Star, I suppose that fits" I thought in my head as the mare began to open the door.

"Greetings! I'm Twilight Sparkle! Please come in!" said the mare with a smile


	2. Roots and Water

"Greetings, I'm Twilight Sparkle! Please come in!" said the mare with a smile. With very little grace, I began to walk inside. It felt rather strange walking on four hooves. As she closed the door, she began to converse with me, something I had dreaded for a while now.

"So, your name is North Star, right?" she asked in a very calm tone.

"Yeah, that's my name, good to meet you Twilight." I said nervously.

"I called for the girls to come here, so it might be a few minutes before they actually arrived, sorry for the mess, you came on such short notice . . . Well, while we wait, how about we play a board game?" Twilight said ecstatically. I groaned, putting my left hoof to my face.

"So . . . how do we play?" I asked in a sarcastic tone as Twilight levitated a Battleship-esque board game out of one of the many bookshelves in her room. I looked at myself while she was preparing the board game. I had a long dark brown mane and tail, and my coat was a deep lust red. Looking at my flank, it wasn't much of a shock to me that I had yet to find a cutie mark, but the fact that I didn't have one was barely noticeable at the current time.

"Well, first you-" Twilight was cut off by her dragon assistant, Spike, who was running down the steps as fast as he could,

"Uh, guys, prepare for impact." and as he finished Pinkie Pie had ran through the door with lightning fast speed.

"Ha-hah, I told you Gummy, _I'd_ be here first!" the pink pony exclaimed to her small green pet who was chomping on her tail "Now, wheres this _new pony _Twilight told me about?" said Pinkie, looking as though she had just taken a large mixture of sugar and methamphetamine. Twilight began to speak in her usual tone of voice,

"Well, Pinkie, you're earlier than expected . . . This here is North Star, the new pony that just came here to Ponyville. North Star, this is Pinkie Pie" I began to shake Pinkie's hoof, and found that she had even more excitement than I expected from the way she rapidly shook my hoof up and down.

"Hiya, North Star!" Pinkie exclaimed while bouncing up and down.

"Pleasure to meet you, Pinkie!" I said with a weak smile. Before I knew it, she began to ramble,

"I would have already started setting up a party, but our resident DJ is currently out of town, so that might postpone some of the festivities! Oh, and by the way, this little alligator here, his name's Gummy! Say 'hi' Gummy!" the alligator said nothing. Before Pinkie could say any more, the door burst open and a pegasus zoomed into the room leaving a trace of color spectrum followed by another pegasus who gracefully fluttered in. Twilight started her introduction phrase once more, only switching out some of the words a bit,

"Hey Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, this here's the new pony, North Star. North Star, that's Fluttershy and that's Rainbow Dash"

"Hello Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy" I said in a dignified voice. I reached out to shake their hoofs, but Fluttershy was a bit reluctant to shake mine, and Rainbow Dash just seemed bored, so she quickly said 'Hi' and then flew up to the second floor. Twilight commented on the situation,

"Now, all we need is for-" she was interrupted by the door swinging open once more. A white unicorn majestically waltzed into Twilight's house. She had obviously taken her time to get dolled up for even something as simple as this.

"Greetings all, I hope I'm not late!" the white unicorn stated.

"Rarity, you're finally here!" Twilight proclaimed joyfully "I wanted you to meet my new friend North Star, he's new! Now, let me tell you all why exactly I-" Twilight was cut off once again, Rainbow Dash had interrupted her,

"Uh, aren't we missing somepony?" she said while fiddling around with a vase.

"Oh, you're right, Rainbow!" Twilight said in a tone of realization "Appleja-" Twilight really did have some bad luck with these interruptions as Applejack galloped into the room.

"Sorry I'm late, sugarcubes, dun lost my hat somewhere in the Apple Orchards, had to go and find it!" Applejack said, out of breath.

"Applejack, here's North Star! Now can I please explain why I called you all down here without anymore interruptions?" Twilight yelled, annoyed. The room fell silent as Miss Sparkle regained her composure "Now, the reason I called you all down here is to help our new friend North Star, I'm sure all of you have seen him. He just moved here from Stalliongrad, and Princess Luna told us we need to help him fit in. Now, I know we already had a new arrival just a little over a week ago, but we need to help this one fit into our lifestyle! Princess Luna told me about how they aren't allowed to use their magic over in Stalliongrad, so over the next few days I'll be teaching him how to preform magic. Applejack! The princess told me how malnourished the ponies over there are, so you'll need to give North Star a number of obstacle courses to help him regain his strength. Rarity! Since the Princess acknowledged how 'uncouth' the ponies in Stalliongrad are, you'll need to teach our friend some manners, also you have a big house and he needs somewhere to stay, so he'll move in with you until he gets back on his hooves financially! And Fluttershy! You'll need to show North Star the lay of the land, got it?"

"Hey, what about me?" shouted Pinkie in protest.

"Pinkie, you can prepare for the party, okay?" Twilight said, not wanted a heated argument.

"Okay-doki! Fair enough!" said Pinkie, in a pseudo-content manner.

"Phew, thank Celestia I don't have to do anything for this poser, no offense" Rainbow said, relieved.

"Why don't _you _help me, Rainbow?" Fluttershy asked with a smirk, I smirked too.

"How could I . . . NO, NO WAY AM I LUGGING _HIM _ALL AROUND PONYVILLE!" Rainbow yelled in protest.

"Rainbow Dash, you need to do your part in this too, you know?" Twilight said, chastising Rainbow Dash.

"Fine, I'll lug him around, but that doesn't mean I'm going to like it!" Rainbow Dash muttered.

"But I bet he will!" Applejack teased as she left with Rarity at her side. I chuckled a bit, Rainbow scowled at me.

"Hurry Rainbow, we can still show North Star around Ponyville before sunset!" Fluttershy said, flashing a warm smile at me. The three of us left Twilight's house, Rainbow Dash with a sour look on her face. We made our way to a small open part of the brick road where the two pegasi got ready to show me around. Rainbow Dash planted herself next to me and motioned for me to get on her back. Needless to say, it was . . . uncomfortable for both me and her.

"Okay." Rainbow Dash said "I'll lug your flank around Ponyville, but you'll owe me for it, _got it_?" She began to lift me up above the ground. It felt . . . strange being carried on the back of a pegasus. Fluttershy began to talk about the area around Ponyville, but I wasn't really paying attention. The views were just too captivating, and the feel of the soft breeze in my face as Rainbow moved me from place to place. I felt extremely relaxed, almost as though I could fall asleep any second now, but that would be rude, so I held off the urge to plunge into a quiet slumber. After about a half hour of sightseeing, Fluttershy officially proclaimed the tour of Ponyville finished. I honestly had barely listened to anything she had said.

"Alright, I'm done lugging you around," Rainbow Dash said with a grunt, "You're Rarity's problem now!" she yelled as she threw me off her back onto Rarity's doorstep. As she flew off I took another look at my magical piece of parchment.

"Okay, so it's apparently 6:28 P.M., August 2nd." I muttered to myself as I knocked on Rarity's door. I waited for a bit before Rarity answered.

"Hello . . . oh . . . it's you, please, come on in, the attic is free." she said, realizing that I was that new pony, not some other, perhaps more 'civilized' guest. I followed her into her spacious house, making sure to act as civil as possible. She led me up to the attic, being as quiet as possible. Obviously it annoyed her that I had to stay at her house for a while, but she did her best to hold in her bitterness. She ushered me into the attic, where I found my bed right as she closed the attic door.

"Good night" she muttered as she slammed the hatch shut and locked it. I felt my stomach a rumblin', Rarity had locked me in here without allowing me to acquire a proper dinner. I grunted, but then I noticed a small window on one side of the attic. It would be a tight fit, like that call-girl I had when I was 19, but I think I could make it through. I opened the window and clumsily began to exit the attic. Unfortunately, I fell into a tree, but I only suffered a few small scratches. I managed to fall down from the tree without suffering any pain in my leg joints, galloping away in fear that my new landlord would notice. I began to head down to the town square, praying that there would be a restaurant that would be open. After a good minute of staring around at the buildings like a tourist, I wandered into a shady looking bar-like building.

I ordered what was presumably their 'regular' for this time of day; steamed carrots with a glass of water. As the waitress gave me my food, I sat there staring at it for a good 30 seconds, wondering how to eat it. I tried to levitate the fork that came with my meal, but I accidentally made it shoot out at one of the waitresses, embarrassing myself. I gave a quiet 'Sorry' and went back to staring at my food.

Giving a loud 'gulp', I brought my head down to my food and began eating those chopped carrots like they were some vagina. It took me a while to finish my dish, but it was filling nonetheless. I managed to sneak out of the restaurant without paying, raising little suspicion as I crept out the bathroom window. Figuring that I was already outside, I decided to go for a small walk around town.

"Walk? Since when did I walk?" I said to myself, reflecting back on my past life, "No, I have to start on a new leaf. With that said . . . walking seems . . . fine, I guess" I then made my way over to a building which I recognized as the house Pinkie Pie lived in. I currently didn't want to disturb anypony, so I just continued to trot down the street. Before I could go any farther, I was dragged into an alley by a mysterious pony.

"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?" I yelled, breaking her grip of me.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Rarity's house?" she said interrogating me.

"I had to get something to eat, now please go away" I said bitterly, beginning to trot away, but Pinkie just hopped right next to me.

"You mean she doesn't feed you? The ungenerosityism of that mare, I'll have to go to her house and give her a piece of my mind. Well, not really a piece of it, more like a small bit of it, but you get the idea!" Pinkie said joyfully, "Where ya headed?" she asked.

"Back to Rarity's" I muttered with a yawn, "I need to get some rest."

"Oki-doki-loki!" Pinkie said as she bounced back to Sugarcube Corner. I rubbed my eyes and got back to walking. I hadn't slept much, so I figured I should go to sleep earlier than usual. While I walked, I had begun to ponder about my current situation. It had amazed me that all the ponies I had seen in the show sounded like their voice actors in this world. Was this a coincidence, or did Hasbro actually monitor the world of Equestria, collaborating with it's citizens? The question had bothered me all throughout my walk to Rarity's. I couldn't come up with a real answer for it, so I would have to come back to it later.

But then I was faced with another problem; getting my way back into Rarity's attic. Planning my strategy out a bit, I, with all my might, had begun to climb the tree. Once I reached the top, I made a leap out towards the still-open window. Miraculously, I made my mark and managed to enter my makeshift bedroom. I gave a sigh of relief, but then I noticed something. A plate, with food on it, was placed down near my bed. It was obviously prepared by Rarity. I frowned, unhappy with myself for being so impatient, making Rarity waste her time on preparing a dish for me. I was sure it frustrated her, so I ate the plate of food anyway. I slowly placed myself in the bed, trying out new forms of sleeping, as my body structure had changed rather dramatically. With that, I dozed off, awaiting a new day in this village.


	3. Errand Run

Authors Note: Let it be known to readers that I fully understand their criticisms about my first chapter due to the overuse of some rather profane language. I understand that I was dropping more bombs that the U.S did in Vietnam, and I apologize, but it is important to acknowledge that violence and cussing was only my character's facade during his human form, and I do not intend to use such language in large amounts from now on. Now, without further ado, let us proceed with the story.

I woke up, tense with sweat. My breathing was heavy, and I was sure I experienced what seemed to be a horrible nightmare. I could barely remember anything about it, since one forgets about 90% of one's dreams once waking up. I looked outside the open window, it seemed that Princess Celestia was working hard. I rubbed my eyes, exiting my bed as I did so. My stomach grumbled, apparently all that sleep had helped my stomach to empty. I groaned and got to my feet. I heard the faint sound of loud arguing which was going on in one of the lower rooms of the boutique. I groaned once more and thumped my hoof on the hatch repeatedly, hoping for Rarity or somepony else to open it for me.

I heard the sound of footsteps coming up towards me, but I didn't hear the sound of constant bickering coming with it. As the hatch opened, I looked down and saw a half-asleep Sweetie Belle looking up at me.

"Hi there, Rarity and Pinkie Pie are arguing about something, why don't you come and help me prepare breakfast?" Sweetie Belle said with a yawn. I wasn't much of a cook, but I agreed to help the young filly, it was the least I could do for her and her sister. The filly lead me into the kitchen, where she instantly began to cracked open some eggs on a small frying pan. I stood there, amazed that such a young foal was already so independent to be making breakfast.

'She would make a good housewife' I thought to myself. She stared at me, obviously waiting for me to help. I had started to make some pancake batter, but had made a large mess on the kitchen counter-top. I got out another pan and started to pour in the pancake batter on it using my mouth. I had spilled a large amount of the batter, but Sweetie didn't seem to notice, as she desperately tried to not ruin all of the foodstuff she was preparing. Trying to flip the pancakes using only my mouth didn't seem like such a simple task either, but Rarity had intervened before I even found the spatula.

"Oh, hi there Rarity!" I said as she shoved Sweetie and I out of the way. "Thanks for the food, sorry I was impatient and stuff." I muttered as she flipped the pancakes with grace.

"You're welcome" she muttered softly. Sweetie and I just shrugged a bit and sat down, seeing as how Rarity took control of the situation from here.

"Hey! You don't have a cutie mark!" Sweetie exclaimed as I sat down at the table.

"Yeah, I guess I need to . . . find my special talent. We over there in Stalliongrad, we don't really have any cutie marks, ya'know?" I said nervously in reply. Rarity chimed in,

"What else don't those ponies in Stalliongrad have, hhhmm?" she said in a mocking manner. I scowled at her, but she just grinned and chuckled. She brought to each of us a plate of food, with a bitter look on her face. The breakfast was eerily silent, there was no emotion to be found at the table. They looked at me in shock as I ate using only my mouth. I was the first one to finish. I left with a quiet 'Thank you' and ran outside. I went over to Sugarcube Corner to visit Pinkie Pie, who was in a overly happy mood at the time.

"Hiya North Star! I got the mayor of the town to give us permission to let us throw you party over in the town hall! And better yet, our friendly neighborhood DJ is back and hopefully ready for business!" she said ecstatically. It was good to hear that the preparations where going so well.

"What time will the party be at?" I asked Pinkie.

"Come at around 9 P.M. tonight!" she said joyfully. With everything planned out, I realized I would need some bits to help me buy food and other objects, since Rarity obviously won't provide with all of my needs and wants. I began to wander around the town, looking for shops or small businesses that wanted help. It seemed that none looked like they were hiring, so I needed to think outside the box. Perhaps I could help Fluttershy with tending to her animals!

I began to trot down over to the outer border of the Everfree forest where Fluttershy's place of residence sat. I wasn't at all surprised that she was out and about feeding the chickens.

'I guess Scootaloo is having her breakfast now.' I said to myself with a chuckle. I began to make my way over to Fluttershy, being careful not to startle her.

"Hi there, Flutters-" I said, but before I could finish, she yelped and hid behind a tree.

"W-who's there?" she whimpered, while peering out the side of the tree.

"It's just me, Fluttershy." I said in a calm tone of voice, slowly approaching her.

"Oh, s-sorry North Star, I was just a bit frightened." she said in a timid voice, coming out of her hiding place.

"I was just wondering if you needed any assistance taking care of these animals." I said with a small, faked grin.

"Oh, why of course, I'll gladly allow you to help me tend to the animals!" Fluttershy exclaimed with a toothy grin.

"Oh, well in that case, will I be compensated for my assistance?" I asked her.

"Sure, if you _really _need the money." Fluttershy responded, "I could use some help feeding the animals, since there's one adorable kitten that hurt himself earlier today that I need to tend to. Just do you know, the bags of food are over near the chicken coop." she said as she went back into her house.

I made my way over to the chicken coop, where all the animals on Fluttershy's grounds crowded around me, waiting to be fed. I grabbed the bag and tried to make some space, but the animals just kept following me. After moving a few steps backwards, I quickened my pace, but the animals just quickened theirs. Soon, I found myself being chased by a stampede of animals, and although I managed to get into hiding, they still continued to cause a ruckus trying to find where I was.

After a few minutes, Fluttershy had came out of her house. Her jaw dropped. She tried desperately to calm the animals, but it was no use. As her last resort, she flew down in front of the stampede and used 'The Stare' to put them back in line. After the coast was clear, I came out of my hiding place. She snatched the bag of food out of my teeth before I could fully apologize.

"Well, since _you_ can't handle feeding the animals, deliver this parcel of two dozen eggs down to Sugarcube Corner for me." she said putting away the bag and giving the parcel to me.

"Can't you get Derpy to do it?" I asked as I gripped the string that held parcel with my teeth.

"No, I can't get Ditzy Doo to do it, she's a bit too . . . clumsy, to say the least. Tell the Cakes that it's from Fluttershy, they'll pay you. Remember to come back with the money." Fluttershy said, directing me.

"Mmmhh, hhmph" I said with the parcel string in my mouth. I left to go to my destination, being careful not to break any eggs or, Celestia forbid, drop the parcel. There weren't many distractions or obstacles along the way, so my job was fairly easy. After a while of brisk galloping, I had made it. I opened the door of the bakery and heard that distinctive jingle of bells. I placed the parcel on the counter near Mrs. Cake, saying it was from Fluttershy.

"Why thank you dearie!" said , while she gave me a bag of coins. I nodded and quickly left the store. I began to think of the outcomes of just taking the bag of coins and not sharing the profit with Fluttershy. Sure it would give me more money, but no, I couldn't do that, not to Fluttershy. I had left behind my old life of committing crimes, I wasn't supposed to be that selfish. Galloping back to Fluttershy's cottage, I was hoping for this errand to be over quickly.

"Oh, you delivered the eggs, thank you!" Fluttershy said as I gave the bag of coins to her. She took out about ten of them and gave the rest to me. "Here's 20 bits, hope it does you good!" she said as I began to leave with the money bag in my mouth.

Making my way to a rather large and comfortable looking tree, I figure I deserve some rest after that rather long errand I did for Fluttershy. I climb up the trunk and set myself on a large, firm branch. Setting my head on the leafier side of the branch, I close my eyes and relaxed my tendons. I found myself plunging into a nice nap.

Waking up, I gave a loud yawn and glanced at my piece of paper. It was about 1:30 P.M. I brushed my hair back and the slid down the surprisingly comfortable tree. Much to my surprise, Rainbow Dash was relaxing in the exact same tree. Unfortunately, she noticed that I had woken up, staring straight at me.

"Hey, I need you to go get the fourth book in the Daring Doo series! Remember, you still owe me that favor!" Rainbow Dash said. I sighed in defeat, as now I had to preform another 'mission'.

"Kay, Rainbow, I'll go get that Daring Doo book for your pretty little flank." I said in a mocking tone of voice as I began to make my journey over to Twilight's house. It was a vapid journey, but it was still a short one. Once getting there, I banged on the door, waiting for somepony to open it. As the door creaked open, I saw a smiling Twilight inside the house.

"Hi there North Star, I thought I scheduled your first magic lesson to be tomorrow. Is there something you need?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Daring Doo book. The fourth in the series, Rainbow wanted me to get it for her." I said in a firm tone.

"Oh, I think it's in one of the upper rooms, so I suggest you check there" she said, allowing me to enter. With little delay, I began to trot upstairs. The first thing I saw was Twilight's and Spike's beds. I searched there, but I had little luck in finding the book there. There were, though, three other doors to my right. Instinctively, I tried the first door to my right, but I was deterred from entering because the door was slammed shut before I could enter. A voice, possibly a guest who was inside the room said something in a cranky tone, but I wasn't paying much attention, so I didn't hear what he had said.

I then tried the next door. All it led to was a kitchen, and the book wasn't there, so I was just wasting my time. I then opened up the third door, which lead to a storage room of sorts. I noticed the book I was searching for was placed on one of the shelves inside of it.

'Found it!' I said under my breath as I picked up the book with my teeth. I trotted out of Twilight's house, thanking her with a simple nod. I grooved all over town, looking for any cloud that might have been holding Rainbow. My legs were pooped from all this walking, but it wasn't long before I found her.

"Hey, Color-blind! I got your book here!" I said after I threw the book up into the air. Rainbow glanced down to where I was standing, then she proceeded to swoop down and grab the book before it fell.

"Finally, whats-your-name, you're back!" she said, as if she was trying to mock me, "But I still need another favor from you!" she said with a grin.

"Okay, first of all, the names North Star! Learn it, love it, live it. And second of all, NO MORE DAMN FAVORS!" I sternly exclaimed. Rainbow Dash merely chuckled, and flew into me. As I tripped, she managed to catch me on her back. Despite my squirming and protest, she takes me to her house and plops me down on one of the couches inside of it. Rainbow Dash handed me a feather duster with a smug grin on her face.

"I need you to clean this place up for me, but play it safe, you'll fall down if you touch the cloud floor." Rainbow Dash said, taking out something from a closet of sorts, "Oh, and put this on, will ya?" she said as she tossed a maid's outfit on the couch where I was. I sighed, realizing the quickest way to get out of this predicament was to play along. I squeezed myself into the outfit, as it was rather uncomfortable putting it on without any thumbs, or fingers for that matter.

"Kinky." I said with a dull look on my face, I picked up the feather duster with my mouth and began jumping around the furniture, dusting all of it. I made sure I hadn't touched the floor, even though it was my only escape route. Rainbow Dash was obviously amused by my eagerness to comply, as I heard her chucking loudly in another room. Over the course of a long number of hours, I hopped from room to room, cleaning. It was as though this cleaning thing was a puzzle. As I finally came full circle, I felt my legs failing to support me as I collapsed on the very same couch Dash put me on when I first came here. My eyes began to shut as I fell into a warm sleep.


End file.
